


Viewfinder Ninja Warrior

by beach



Category: American Ninja Warrior, Finder no Hyouteki | Finder Series, Sasuke - Fandom
Genre: Crack, Crack Crossover, M/M, Out of Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-10
Updated: 2015-09-30
Packaged: 2018-04-20 02:23:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4769978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beach/pseuds/beach
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>SASUKE/American Ninja Warrior is hosting a White Collar vs. Blue Collar special event. Asami Ryuichi and Takaba Akihito end up on opposite teams. Of course Feilong has to crash the party, and some other Viewfinder characters try to tackle the world's toughest obstacle course.</p><p>Characters are deliberately exaggerated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Stage 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to make this read as similar as I could to listening to an American Ninja Warrior episode, so I used font effects to represent the three announcers. I wanted to use colors, but I don't know how to easily add them, so I'll stick to font shapes. Please let me know if there are any issues with readability.
> 
> Matt Iseman: underline  
> Akbar Gbajabiamila: italics  
> Kristine Leahy: bold
> 
> Anything not said by one of the announcers is in regular font.

Live from Midoriyama, I’m Matt Iseman.

_And I’m Akbar Gbajabiamila._

And tonight, we’re bringing you a special SASUKE competition, White Collar vs. Blue Collar. The teams will be competing on the four stages of Midoriyama, with the person completing the stage in the fastest time winning the points for their team: 1 point for stage 1, 2 points for stage 2, and 3 points for stage 3, with stage 4 as a tiebreaker. Two competitors from each team will try each stage.

_Let’s take a look at our competitors._

On the White Collar team, we have Sudou Shuu, manager of Club Dracaena; Sakazaki Toranosuke, manager of – we can’t say that on the air!; Suoh Kazumi, chief security officer – is that really white collar? – er, sorry, yes, the CSO of Club Sion is wearing a white collar; and making a rare public appearance, Asami Ryuichi, president of Club Sion.

_On the Blue Collar team, we have Liu Feilong, er, no profession listed, wearing a red collar…_

“Red’s my color.” Feilong shrugs.

_Er, okay. Next is Mitarai Yukari, renowned photojournalist; Takaba Akihito, investigative reporter, who’s not wearing any collar at all, and… Where’s the last member of the Blue Collar Team?_

‘Feilong scared them both away,” Akihito says, glaring at Feilong. “Why are you even here? And shouldn’t you be on the other team?”

Feilong crosses his arms. “Maybe you should answer my e-mails.”

_The Blue Collar Team has guts; they only have 3 members._

That’s quite a statement coming from the Blue Collar Team. It looks like they’re not taking the White Collar “weekend warriors” very seriously.

_That might be a mistake, Matt. We’ve seen a lot of great athletes with limited time to train: ER physicians, weathermen, Ph.D. students. You can never underestimate anyone’s skill._

Well, blue collar workers have historically done very well, too. But on this incredibly tough finals course, anything can happen.

_Here’s Kristine Leahy to tell us about the obstacles competitors will be facing in Stage 1._

**First, competitors will have to make their way across piston row. Next up is the propeller bar: competitors will have to jump from the trampoline, catch the propeller bar, make the transition to the rope, and swing to safety. Next are two tough obstacles back to back that have historically taken out many great athletes: the silk slider and the jumping spider. The sonic curve replaces the halfpipe attack, and many competitors in the American finals struggled with this new obstacle. The sixth obstacle is the infamous 14-foot warped wall, with a shorter runway. Competitors will need great agility to race across the coin flip before they can swing their way to victory on our final obstacle, the triple swing.**

Thanks, Kristine. Normally stage 1 has a time limit, but tonight, it’s all about who can finish the fastest. If no one finishes stage 1, the winner will be the team with the person who went the farthest the fastest.

_It’s all about speed, but we’ve seen that can cause a lot of athletes to make mistakes. It will be interesting to see how cautiously the first athletes approach this course. Will they set a blazing pace, or will they just focus on finishing?_

Well, we’re about to find out, Akbar. Running Stage 1 first is Sudou for the White Collars. He’s removing his suit… and wow, I haven’t seen athletic shorts that short since the ’70’s! Sudou has an excellent weight to height ratio, but he doesn’t look very strong… Maybe that’s why they have him running stage 1, where there’s less upper body focus and more agility-based obstacles.

_Sudou got his start as a dancer in Club Dracaena. Those dancing skills will come in handy on piston row, the sonic curve, and the coin flip, but that’s only if he can make it through the other obstacles._

He’s made it through piston row. He got a good bounce on the trampoline, and he’s caught the propeller bar.

_He’s barely hanging on there. And he misses the rope, but he’s going around for another try at it._

And he’s got it! He made the swing to the landing platform.

_It looks like he’s trying to tie the silks around his waist for the silk slider. That’s against the rules._

It would make it really hard to let go and land on the floating platform, too. He’s given up on tying it… Here he goes!

_Oh, it looks like he doesn’t have a good grip – and Sudou has fallen into the water. He just never got a good grip on the silks._

Kristine is standing by with Sudou.

**Sudou, you did a great job through piston row and managed to squeak through the propeller bar. What do you think happened on the silk slider?**

“I broke a nail,” Sudou says, examining his hand. “I need a nail file!”

**Do you think you went far enough to win stage 1 for your team?**

“Ugh, I’m all wet. I need a towel and a comb!”

**Sudou doesn’t seem to be concerned with his performance. We’ll have to wait and see if it’s enough to ensure victory for the White Collar Team. Guys, back to you.**

Thanks, Kristine. Next up is our first competitor for the Blue Collar Team. It looks like Mitarai is ready, but both Takaba and Liu are trying to stop him. Let’s listen in.

“Mitarai, can you even make that jump to the first piston? You should acknowledge your weaknesses,” Akihito says.

“My job keeps me fairly active; I have to run occasionally to get the scoop,” Mitarai defends himself.

“Yeah, maybe a scoop of ice cream,” Feilong snarks.

“Besides, every competitor has to do at least one stage. Do you really want me on the upper body stages?” Mitarai asks.

It looks like they’ve come to a decision, and they’re letting Mitarai run first. Takaba and Liu are continuing to argue, probably about who’s going next.

_Ohhhh. That has to be one of the shortest runs we’ve ever seen on SASUKE. Mitarai never even made it to the first piston. It looked like he just wanted to go for a swim._

Let’s watch that again. Mitarai got a good jump, but it looks like he just didn’t have the strength to make it to the piston. He comes up about a foot short and just splashes into the water.

**Mitarai, this must be disappointing for you. What would you do differently next time?**

“I just misjudged the distance. I could have made it. I guess next time, I’ll pay a little more attention.”

**Do you think more training could have helped you?**

“Training? What’s that?”

**Well, good luck to you in the later stages. Matt, Akbar, back to you.**

_Matt, with only two athletes left, I’m beginning to wonder if we’ll see anyone make it past the silk slider tonight._

We’re about to find out, Akbar. Up next is Sakazaki. No, wait, Asami has gestured for Sakazaki to step back, and Suoh is stepping up.

_That’s an interesting choice. Suoh is the biggest guy out here, but he’s cut. He looks like a linebacker, and if he has that kind of agility, he could be the best choice for this Stage 1._

Well, he made it through piston row. The propeller bar could be a problem. Does he have the strength to stop the momentum of his heavy mass?

_And he’s through. The silk slider is so difficult; it’s all about timing. He’s coming in fast!_

Woah, that was close, but he’s made it through. And wow, he has the flexibility for the jumping spider.

_His foot slipped, but he used the strength in his arms to recover. Suoh is putting together an incredible run, but he’s not very fast. He’s taking his time between obstacles. With the Blue Collar Team having one more competitor to go, that might be a mistake._

Well, he’s made it through the sonic curve. Can he make it up the warped wall?

_Look at that power! He managed to get high on the wall. making it easy for him to get a foot up and pull himself up._

And he’s through the coin flip! Suoh may be our first stage 1 finisher of the night!

_He’s made it through the first swing in the triple swing, but that did not look pretty. It looks like he’s running out of steam._

Ohhhh, and he just missed the last bar. Kristine, what does Suoh have to say?

**Suoh, you were so close to finishing the course. How does it feel to have gone so far and come up short?**

Suoh just blinks at her. “Feel?”

**You must be disappointed. But do you think you went far enough to beat the Blue Collar Team?**

Suoh shrugs. “I hope so.”

**You took your time on the course. Was that strategic, to make sure you went farther?**

“I went as fast as I could. Sorry I couldn’t go any faster.” Suoh glances over at Asami and bows low.

**Asami, how do you think Suoh did?**

“I think he did his best. We’ll just have to see if that was good enough.”

Suoh gulps.

Our last competitor on stage 1 will be from the Blue Collar Team. Akbar, it looks like Takaba and Liu are still arguing over who will get to go.

_They have similar builds. Liu looks lithe and graceful. Does he perhaps have a dance or martial arts background? And Takaba was pulling some sick parkour moves during his warm up. I think either would have a decent shot at completing Stage 1._

“Feilong, I don’t care how awesome you used to be at martial arts. I’ve seen what you’re like now. You lie around and do nothing all day. I, on the other hand, do this kind of thing every single day. Face it, you’re washed up, old man,” Akihito says.

“I’m not that much older than you. You saw me while I was recovering from an injury. I still do my kata every day. If I don’t stay in top shape, I could be killed,” Feilong retorts.

Akihito glowers at him. “No. I’m doing this stage. Remember Hong Kong?”

Feilong flinches and steps back. “Yes, fine, Akihito.”

Apparently these two have history. What do you think happened in Hong Kong, Akbar?

_I don’t know, Matt, but I know they have SASUKE competitions all over the world now. Perhaps Takaba beat Liu in a competition there._

Well, I’m looking forward to seeing his run.

_Woah, he’s setting a blistering pace. No problems with piston row or the propeller bar. And it’s on to the silk slider._

He’s taking off fast! He might want to slow down a hair; given the time Suoh set, he really doesn’t need to rush.

_Well, the silk slider presented no problem; it looks like he might be used to jumping off things and landing on small platforms._

He’s taking a moment to wipe his feet before the jumping spider. That’s smart.

_Takaba is putting together a very strong run. He’s actually on pace to set a stage 1 record._

But can he make it up the warped wall? Sometimes these smaller guys don’t have a lot of power, and his height can be a disadvantage here.

_But he catches it with one arm. And it’s straight through to the coin flip! It looks like he’s trying to make a statement with this run._

He’s got to be careful here, though, Akbar. If he falls on the coin flip, the White Collar team will win.

_But he’s through! And with that swing to the first bar, the Blue Collar team has won stage 1!_

But Takaba wants to finish this course. He’s still on pace for the record; he’s got 15 seconds. If he can get a high swing onto the cargo net…

_And he’s done it! He’s hitting the buzzer. And it’s official: Takaba Akihito has broken the Stage 1 record by 3 seconds!_

**Takaba, the crowd is on their feet. That performance was electrifying. You just set a new record for completing Stage 1. How does it feel?**

“Wow, really?” Akihito grins and ducks his head sheepishly. “I was just having fun. That was great! Can I go again?”

**Wow, you’re not even tired, are you? How about saving some of that energy for the later stages. Let’s talk a minute about your strategy. You set a blistering pace right from the start. Were you ever worried you’d make a mistake and take an early exit? Or were you trying to make a statement to the White Collar Team?**

“I wasn’t trying to make a statement or anything, and I didn’t really feel like I was going that fast. I mean, I took each obstacle as it came, but I didn’t want to waste any time.”

**Have you ever considered competing on the show?**

“No. I mean, I don’t get a lot of time to watch TV, so I didn’t know this existed. But I think it’d be fun!”

**Well, hopefully we’ll see you next season.**

When we return, the competitors will face off on Stage 2. Right now, the Blue Collar Team is leading the White Collar Team thanks to Takaba Akihito’s stunning performance.

Akihito walks back to his team and gives them high fives. Asami walks over. “May I see you for a moment, Takaba?” he asks, his eyes glowing ominously. Akihito follows him backstage.


	2. Stage 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feilong, Sakazaki, Akihito, and Asami try to tackle stage 2 of the Sasuke finals course. Meanwhile, there appears to be some funny business going on backstage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to make this read as similar as I could to listening to an American Ninja Warrior episode, so I used font effects to represent the three announcers. I wanted to use colors, but I don't know how to easily add them, so I'll stick to font shapes. Please let me know if there are any issues with readability.
> 
> Matt Iseman: underline  
> Akbar Gbajabiamila: italics  
> Kristine Leahy: bold
> 
> Anything not said by one of the announcers is in regular font.

Welcome back to our special Sasuke competition, White Collar vs. Blue Collar. I’m Matt Iseman.

_And I’m Akbar Gbajabiamila._

In Stage 1, history was made when Takaba Akihito broke the all-time Stage 1 record by over 3 seconds. The Blue Collar team now leads the White Collar team by 1 point. But now our athletes will have to face Stage 2. And with double the amount of points on the line, it’s still anyone’s game.

_That’s right, Matt. Stage 2 is much more difficult, and very few athletes finish it. And none of these guys have ever seen any of these obstacles before._

“Actually, I have,” Sakazaki says, raising his hand.

**Kristine Leahy here with the White Collar team. Sakazaki, did you say that you’ve practiced obstacles before?**

“Well, of course. As soon as I found out we were going to be on the show, I went to a gym and practiced.”

“They have gyms for this?” Feilong asks Akihito.

Akihito shrugs. “I don’t know. I bet they’re expensive.”

“More than you could afford, I’m sure,” Sudou, who has changed outfits and combed his hair, sneers before going back to filing his nail.

“Why didn’t you inform me of this?” Asami asks.

Sakazaki shrugs. “I thought you knew. You always seem to know everything before everyone else.”

Suoh puts a restraining arm on Asami. “Later, when there are fewer witnesses,” he whispers.

**Well, let me explain the obstacles for Stage 2. First, competitors must navigate through rope jungle, where some of the ropes slide, some fall, and some are stationary. Next, it’s the double salmon ladder, followed immediately by another upper body challenger, the unstable bridge. Then competitors must jump onto the butterfly wall, rotating around and jumping to the rope. Next is the new roulette row, which is a more difficult version of the Spin Cycle from the Venice Beach city finals. Finally, competitors will face the wall lift, going underneath walls that weigh 30, 40, and 50 kg.**

_These are some tough obstacles. Out of the 38 American Stage 1 finishers, only 8 completed Stage 2. And many of those guys train full-time specifically for this course._

Yes, these competitors are going to have a tough time. But we’ve seen rookies complete Stage 2 before, such as Joe Moravsky, who has completed every single stage up to and including Stage 2 since his first season.

_If anyone can do it, I’d put my money on Takaba after that thrilling performance on Stage 1. But the Blue Collar team might be saving him for Stage 3._

Well, Akbar, we’re about to find out. The Blue Collar team will be going first for Stage 2.

“You can go first,” Akihito says to Feilong, rubbing his bottom.

“Seriously? Ever heard of TPO?” Feilong stares at him incredulously.

“TPO? What’s that?”

“Time, place, occasion. Never mind; I’m talking to someone who would wear jeans to a kidnapping.”

“What? How am I to blame for what I’m wearing when you just happen to decide to violate someone’s rights and kidnap them?”

Feilong just shakes his head. “I thought you had a bet with Asami riding on this competition. That’s why I came to help you out.”

“How did you know about that?”

Feilong shrugs. “Regardless, you should know Asami will use whatever underhanded method he can to ensure he wins. I can’t believe you fell for that.”

“It’s not like I had a choice,” Akihito whines.

“Um, hello. You could have stayed out here with everyone else. He couldn’t jump you in front of this huge crowd.”

“He would have picked me up, thrown me over his shoulder, and carried me off! You think I want that shown on TV?”

“And with all your wiliness and athleticism, you couldn’t get away from him?”

“Of – of course not!” Akihito protests, his face turning tomato red. “Anyway, I’ll be fine in five minutes. Just… go first, okay?”

“Fine, fine.” As Feilong steps up to the starting line, he quips, “I thought Asami would be a bit more skilled than that. You guys were only gone for 2 minutes!”

“It was five,” Asami growls. “And it’s not about how long you go, it’s about how long you are. But rest assured, I can satisfy anyone on either count.”

_It looks like we’ll finally be seeing the skills of the last member of the Blue Collar team, Liu. We’ve received confirmation that he is a black belt in several martial arts, and he also has some dance training._

I don’t know how much those skills will translate to Stage 2, Akbar. The first 3 obstacles are all about upper body strength.

_Well, let’s watch. Rope jungle is presenting no problems to him. He managed to find a sliding rope… and he’s at the platform in just under ten seconds!_

That’s faster than most of the competitors did it in the American finals. The ropes have been configured differently since then, so I guess he just got lucky and grabbed the right ones.

_Here comes the real test. The salmon ladder requires explosive upper body strength. And once you’ve finished one of them, you’ve got to jump across and do a second one followed by the unstable bridge, with no rest in between. More than half the field in the American finals was eliminated right here, on one of these two obstacles._

And he’s missed the third rung on the salmon ladder on the right side! Now he’s uneven. And it’s another narrow escape as that right side misses on the fourth rung!

_Now it’s time to swing across to the other ladder. Can he make this transition? He’s still got his L’s, but those misses sap your energy._

He’s made it to the other ladder, and it looks like he’s deliberately taking the second ladder one side at a time. This is a completely new approach we’re seeing, Akbar. What do you make of it?

_By focusing on only one side of the ladder at a time, Liu is more in control. It takes longer, so it drains your energy, but it is a safer approach. I just wonder if he’ll have enough left in the tank for the unstable bridge. Remember, there is no rest between these obstacles._

Well, he’s about to move on to the unstable bridge. It’s a smooth transition to the first board, and he’s made it across… but now he has to jump to the second board.

_That second board really tests the grip; it’s only attached at two points, so it moves a lot more on you_. _But he’s made the transition! And Liu is setting the bar incredibly high for Stage 2._

I have to admit, Akbar, I wasn’t sure we’d see anyone even finish the double salmon ladder tonight, much less the unstable bridge.

_Liu is pausing to catch his breath. He doesn’t have the time limit normally set for this course, but he still does have to be mindful of the clock. The White Collar team still has two athletes left to run._

Wow, he looked like a deer leaping to the butterfly wall. But next up is the obstacle that took out a higher percentage of athletes than any other on Stage 2: roulette row.

_As we saw in the American finals, the trick to Roulette Row is to quickly transition to the second ring. You only have one chance to make that transition. Once you make the transition, landing on the platform is difficult, but athletes had several different successful approaches._

Liu is catching his breath again. I heard that he’s a smoker; maybe he should think about cutting back on that tobacco.

_Here he goes. He made it to the first ring, but he hesitated and missed the transition! Instead of trying to go back for it, it looks like he’s trying to return to the starting platform._

That might be a good idea, Akbar. Competitors who missed the transition got stuck in no man’s land, but it looks like Liu has made it safely back to the platform.

_He barely made that, Matt. But now he’s getting a faster run going into it… and he’s made the transition! He’s coming in pretty fast, though…_

And he swung past the landing platform. Now he’s got to try to work his way back so he can get off that ring.

_He’s really struggling. No matter what he tries, he just can’t get any momentum. That ring moves with you and absorbs all your energy._

Kevin Bull used a hand-over-hand approach when he got stuck and managed to get to the platform. Will Liu figure out his own method?

_I don’t know, Matt. He’s looking really tired. And he’s fallen! Liu is out on roulette row. But Matt, he has to be proud of that performance_

It looks like Liu is struggling in the water. Is he going to be alright?

_These athletes often push themselves to their limits, so sometimes they don’t have any strength left to get out of the water, but our team is helping Liu out._

Let’s go down to Kristine and find out what happened.

**Liu, the crowd is giving you a standing ovation. That was an impressive performance on Stage 2.**

“Thank you,” Feilong wheezes as he leans over, then arcs back quickly, whipping his hair back.

**Wow, you really got wet there.**

“Oh, did I just splash you? Sorry about that,” Feilong says, not looking the least bit sorry.

**That’s quite alright. What happened in the pool? Do you know how to swim? Or were you just tired?**

‘Of course I know how to swim! It would be dangerous to have such a weakness in my line of work! I just couldn’t see because of my hair.”

**It is quite beautiful. Is it a wig to match your costume?**

“Costume? What costume? And I would never wear a wig and cover up my beautiful hair.” Feilong glares at her menacingly.

**S-sorry. Again, great performance, Liu. Guys, back to you.**

Thanks, Kristine. It looks like Sakazaki will be up first for the White Collar Team. Akbar, do you think his training will help him?

_I don’t know, Matt. He didn’t have a lot of time to prepare, and if you don’t already have the strength needed, you’re not going to gain it in a few weeks. Still, he looks fairly athletic. But this_ is _the world’s toughest obstacle course._

Oh, and he’s hung up a bit in rope jungle. Suoh and Sudou are giving him advice from the sidelines, but Asami seems to have disappeared again. I wonder if that means he’s warming up to go next.

_With his teammates’ help, it looks like Sakazaki has finally figured out rope jungle. But he used up a lot of energy hanging on for those twenty seconds. Let’s see if he has anything left for the double salmon ladder._

He’s taking a few seconds to rest here. Liu was faster to this point, but he did slow down a lot after the unstable bridge.

_This is a smart move by Sakazaki. He does have some time to make up, but the time only matters if he can make it to roulette row. He needs to get those arms ready for their toughest challenge, right here._

But he can’t take too long, Akbar, or he’ll have to finish roulette row. And here he goes. He’s made it through the first two rungs, but he’s losing those L’s you like to talk about, Akbar.

_That’s right, Matt. When I see athletes lose those L’s, it usually means they’re in trouble. And he just misses on the left side! But he managed to recover._

Now comes the transition… And he’s made it!

_He seems to be taking a page out of Liu’s book for the second ladder, taking it one side at a time._

And he nearly missed on the last rung, even though he was going one-sided. He’s moving on to the unstable bridge without finishing the double salmon ladder.

_He barely made that transition to the first board, Matt. His whole body is shaking; I’m shocked he’s still holding on._

It’s obvious Sakazaki is giving this everything he has. He’s glancing over to his teammates for support.

_He just needs to move. This is a tough transition, but the longer he hangs from the first board, the harder it’s going to be._

And he’s fallen into the water! Sakazaki made it to the unstable bridge, but that means that the Blue Collar team holds onto the lead. Let’s find out what Sakazaki has to say.

**Sakazaki, that was a really gutsy performance. You looked like you were finished on the double salmon ladder. How did you manage to finish it and get through the first board of the unstable bridge?**

“I had a lot of motivation to do well for my team, and I was really inspired watching Takaba on Stage 1.”

**He was amazing to watch, but so were you.**

“Oh, I’m not sure about that. I don’t think my butt looks quite as nice.”

**Er… The… the… Rope jungle! How much do you think that affected your performance?**

“Oh, it definitely affected me. I tried to copy what Liu did, but apparently I grabbed the wrong rope somewhere. It’s really amazing how lucky he got, grabbing all the right ropes the first time. I don’t think I could have done it if I’d paid someone to tell me which to grab.” Sakazaki casts a meaningful look at Sudou and Suoh. Suoh subtly jerks his head to the backstage area, where Sakazaki sees Asami handing something to one of the crew.

**Oh, I don’t think anyone could tell you which to grab; it’s much too complicated. Guys, back to you.**

Next up is Takaba from the Blue Collar Team.

_I’m a little surprised by that choice. I thought they would save him for Stage 3, especially considering Liu’s strong first run. I’m not sure the White Collar Team has anyone who can beat Liu’s performance._

Well, we haven’t seen Asami perform yet. He’s a little big, but he’s got a strong strength to height ratio, especially considering his size.

_Well, either way, I’m excited to see Takaba’s performance on Stage 2. Stage 1 didn’t have as much upper body, but Takaba is actually built more for the upper body challenges of Stage 2 and Stage 3._

And he’s off! He’s not quite as fast as Liu, but he’s putting his momentum to good use. And he finished rope jungle in 11 seconds.

_And it’s straight into the double salmon ladder. He’s using a reverse grip, which a lot of athletes say gives them better control. And it’s straight up one side, and he’s made the transition look easy. And he skipped a rung on the second ladder! And now he’s transitioned to the unstable bridge skipping the last rung of the salmon ladder._

We saw a lot of competitors do the same thing in the American finals. Takaba continues to look like a veteran. But even veterans struggle with the second board on the unstable bridge.

_But Takaba made that look easy. Wait, is he bleeding? I think he may have hit his head on the second board._

I think you’re right, Akbar. There’s not a lot of clearance for your head there, and I think he was a bit too focused on grabbing the board evenly. But he’s hanging on.

_And Takaba has finished the unstable bridge! He’s moving on to the butterfly wall. After seeing his agility and power on Stage 1, this shouldn’t be a problem for him._

And he’s made it onto the wall. His momentum carried him past the rope, so he’ll have to ride around again, but he’s got plenty of time. He’s well ahead of Liu’s pace.

_Not just_ Liu’s _pace; once again, Takaba is on pace to set a course record. And now he’s going to transition to the rope…_

Oh my goodness! How shocking! Takaba missed the rope.

_Wow, I’m really shocked, Matt. It looked like he had it, but then he suddenly slipped, and he just couldn’t get it back. It just goes to show that you can never underestimate any of these obstacles._

Takaba looks mad about it, too. Let’s see what he has to say.

**Takaba, first, how’s your head?**

“My head?” Akihito touches it, then pulls his hand away and sees blood. “Oh. I guess I hit it on the board. It doesn’t really hurt or anything, though.”

**So that didn’t affect your concentration on the butterfly wall?**

“What? No way! As if! I only fell because Asami cheated!” Akihito splutters.

**That’s a serious allegation. Are you saying the other team tampered with the rope? We didn’t see anyone near the obstacle.**

“No! Wait, this is on TV, right? Do you guys air in… Yokohama? Or Musashino?”

**We air across Japan, and in over 100 other countries.**

“Well, I can’t say how Asami cheated out loud, but he definitely did.”

**Our producer is coming down to talk to Takaba.**

Akbar, this is the first allegation of cheating we’ve ever had.

_Matt, it’s shocking. Usually competitors are so supportive of whomever’s on the course. This allegation, if true, really puts a black eye on this competition._

It appears that Takaba is refusing to tell the producer exactly what happened.

_Let’s see if Kristine can provide us with any kind of update._

**Takaba, are you ready to tell us what happened?**

“Asami put a… a… a… an egg timer… in my… pocket! And it went off and startled me while I was on the course!”

**Where is this egg timer now?**

“I… I… I don’t know. Maybe it fell in the pool?”

**Well, we’ll have a few crew members look for it. In the meantime, let’s hear what Asami has to say about this.**

Asami surreptitiously hands a small remote control to Suoh before joining Kristine and Akihito.

“What appears to be the problem?” he asks casually.

**Takaba says that you put an egg timer in his pocket, and it went off during his run, causing his slip.**

“Where is this ‘egg timer’ now?” Asami asks, raising his eyebrows innocently.

“I don’t know!” Akihito splutters.

“Perhaps it’s still in your… ‘pocket’?” Asami asks, gesturing to Suoh, who presses a button on the remote.

“No! I, uh, I have to go! Now!” Akihito runs off in the direction of the restroom, covering his privates.

**They’ve asked the White Collar Team to go ahead and complete their last run of Stage 2 while the investigation continues.**

Asami says, “That would be me.”

As Asami swings onto the first rope, Feilong slips into the bathroom after Akihito.

Well, Akbar, hopefully they’ll be able to get to the bottom of the investigation soon.

Sakazaki nudges Sudou. “‘Bottom’ of the investigation, heh? That would be Takaba’s, huh?” He notices the remote in Suoh’s hand. “Can I see that for a minute?” Sakazaki starts pressing buttons mindlessly as his attention returns to Asami, who’s already on the double salmon ladder.

_I don’t believe it, Matt! It’s like Asami uncovered the secret cheat code on rope jungle! That single rope took him all the way to the platform._

Now might not be the best time to make jokes about cheat codes, Akbar, but Asami did get incredibly lucky on rope jungle. There’s no luck when it comes to the salmon ladder, however.

_You’re right, Matt. It’s all about strength and skill. But Asami is making it through okay so far._

He’s starting to lose those L’s, though.

_But he’s made the transition to the second ladder. And he’s also borrowing a page out of Liu’s book, taking the ladder one side at a time._

Well, we saw it work for both Liu and Sakazaki. Maybe we’ll see some competitors adopting this new style in the regular season as well.

_I don’t know, Matt. It’s not very efficient, and every second counts when you’re hanging by your arms._

Well so far, Asami is quite a bit ahead of Liu’s pace, though he’s still trailing Takaba’s pace to this point. If Asami makes it to roulette row faster than Liu did, we’ll have to wait for the results of the cheating allegation before awarding points for this round.

_I don’t know if he’ll make it that far, Matt. He’s totally lost those L’s, but he has finished the salmon ladder. Now let’s see if he has anything left for the unstable bridge._

Asami is 6’1”, and at 172 pounds, he’s one of the biggest guys we’ve had attempt Stage 2. But he’s made the transition to the first board.

_He’s hanging on by his fingertips, but he’s moving at a decent pace towards the second board._

And he’s made it! That board is really moving, but somehow Asami is hanging on.

_And he’s swinging for the landing platform, but his fingers have slipped off. Oh my goodness! How did he hang on?_

That was incredible. Let’s watch that again. See how Asami’s hands slip off right at the peak of his swing, propelling him towards the landing platform. His feet land on the platform, but his center of gravity is way out over the water, but Asami muscles through and squats down, saving himself from hitting the water.

_He must squat a lot, Matt. That was incredible. Now it’s on to the butterfly wall. He’s made it onto the wall._

And he has to go around again to try for the rope… I can’t believe my eyes! He fell in exactly the same spot as Takaba!

_That’s really surprising, Matt. In other competitions, competitors have failed to grab onto the wall, but we’ve never had anyone fall trying to transition to the rope before tonight, and now we’ve seen two people do it in a row._

Let’s go down to Kristine and see what happened.

**Asami, you were doing so well until you went down in the exact same spot as Takaba. Were you distracted thinking about his allegations of cheating?**

Asami ignores Kristine as he stomps over towards Akihito.

“What were _you_ doing in _there_ with _him_?” Asami growls, pointing from Akihito to the restroom to Feilong.

“It was karma,” Akihito says cheekily to Kristine, his face flushed red for some reason.

“We were just searching for that ‘egg timer.’ It turns out it was still in his ‘pocket’ after all,” Feilong simpers.

“ _I_ was the only one searching,” Akihito corrects. “He was just annoying me from outside the stall.”

**Well, Asami, do you have anything to say about that?**

“It was just a joke. I thought he’d be competing in Stage 3, not Stage 2. And anyway, I thought he must have noticed as soon as I put it in his ‘pocket.’ I really didn’t think it would go off in the middle of his run,” Asami explains smoothly.

“Sure you didn’t.” Akihito rolls his eyes.

“Seriously though, how could you not notice?” Feilong suddenly asks. “It was a lot bigger and heavier than I was expecting. Is he really that good?”

Akihito’s face flushes again. “No! Just… Forget about it! We still won the round, right? So let’s just drop it, no harm, no foul.” He glares defiantly at Asami. “You won’t be able to cheat on Stage 3, and we will sweep you.”

**Some strong words coming from the Blue Collar Team. But after an eventful night, Stage 2 is complete, and the score stands at 3-0, with the Blue Collar Team in the lead.**

_The White Collar Team has their work cut out for them if they don’t want to be swept. Liu and Takaba both demonstrated considerable upper body strength in Stage 2._

Don’t completely discount the White Collar Team, though, Akbar. Sakazaki and Asami both did pretty well on Stage 2, as well. We’ll have to find out who will take Stage 3 next time on our special Sasuke competition, White Collar vs. Blue Collar.

“Are you sure that was the only one?” Feilong asks Akihito.

“What? Of course I’m sure!”

“But you didn’t know about the first one until it started vibrating. Could you really tell it was just one? Or what if the second one hasn’t been set off yet?”

“Don’t you think I’d have noticed while it kept changing speeds and powers?”

“No… And I know there would be enough room for two. I’ve seen Asami’s…”

“When?” Akihito demands hotly.

“At the hot springs, remember?”

“Oh, yeah.” Akihito buries his face in his hands. “I’m going back to the restroom for a second. I’m locking the door behind me, but keep Asami out!”

Asami doesn’t notice Akihito returning to the restroom; he’s too busy talking to a bespectacled man in the stands.


	3. Stage 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the Viewfinder characters tackle Stage 3, more shenanigans unfold backstage. Will Akihito be able to overcome Asami's attempts to cheat?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to make this read as similar as I could to listening to an American Ninja Warrior episode, so I used font effects to represent the three announcers. I wanted to use colors, but I don't know how to easily add them, so I'll stick to font shapes. Please let me know if there are any issues with readability.
> 
> Matt Iseman: underline  
> Akbar Gbajabiamila: italics  
> Kristine Leahy: bold

Welcome back to our special Sasuke competition, White Collar vs. Blue Collar. I’m Matt Iseman.

_And I’m Akbar Gbajabiamila._

So far, we’ve seen history be made as Takaba Akihito set a new course record on Stage 1 for the Blue Collar Team. Stage 2 was marred by the first allegations of cheating we’ve ever had in a Sasuke competition, when Asami Ryuichi from the White Collar Team placed an egg timer inside Takaba’s pocket, and it went off during his run, causing him to fall. Asami claimed it was an innocent prank that he thought Takaba would notice right away. Ultimately, it made no difference, because Liu Feilong from the Blue Collar Team won the stage by being the only athlete to make it to Roulette Row.

_The fans might have been disappointed to see no finishers for Stage 2, but while we were away, Takaba managed to sneak back onto the course and give it another try._

That’s right, Akbar. Because it was an unofficial run, there is no official time, but our crews captured the entire run. Let’s watch.

_Takaba makes it through rope jungle a second faster than he did the first time. He didn’t look tired at all in the double salmon ladder, skipping a rung and skipping the last rung before the unstable bridge, just like he did in competition. Does this guy ever tire?_

It doesn’t appear that he does, Akbar. He completed the unstable bridge even more smoothly than the first time, this time avoiding hitting his head on the second board.

_Without that egg timer in his pocket, he breezed by the butterfly wall, going straight from the wall to the rope on the first pass._

While his time was unofficial, his blazing pace and lack of any errors to this point set him on course to set an unofficial record for Stage 2, if only he could finish the course. But he was now facing Stage 2’s toughest obstacle, roulette row.

_That’s right, Matt. On roulette row, you only have one chance to transition from the first ring to the second. You can have no hesitation. But I don’t think Takaba knows the meaning of the word. He smoothly leapt from one ring to the next, and then immediately went for the landing._

This was where he struggled for the first time on Stage 2. Takaba came in fast, and he nearly overshot the landing platform, but he held on with his legs and managed to pull himself the rest of the way onto the platform.

_I wonder where he gets that kind of grasping leg strength. After that, he just had the wall lift. At only 60kg, I wondered if these walls would slow Takaba down – that last wall weighs nearly as much as he does, at 50kg! But there apparently is no slowing Takaba down._

Except by an egg timer.

_Ha. Yes, that will go down as one of the weirdest moments in Sasuke history. But Takaba finished Stage 2 in an unofficial time of 1:32. That would have blown the record out of the water, had it been official._

Well, this crowd didn’t care that it was unofficial. They were on their feet, and they’re still chanting Takaba’s name.

_Takaba has a lot of energy, but even the toughest athletes get tired on Stage 3. I’m sure the Blue Collar Team will use him for Stage 3, so I hope he didn’t hurt his team with that stunt, though, Matt._

I hope so, too, Akbar. But for so many of these athletes, they just want a chance to complete the course. I can understand the temptation to try again, especially after his first run ended in such an unfair way. Takaba is not the only athlete who’s tried to sneak onto a stage, but he _is_ the first successful one.

_Anyway, tonight our teams will face Stage 3, which only a very few athletes have ever completed. Kristine Leahy is standing by to tell us about this insane stage, which is so difficult, it’s the only untimed stage in the finals._

**Hi, guys. First, our athletes will face the new psycho chainsaw, where they’ll have to pump their arms back and forth to generate forward momentum. Then they’ll have to transition directly to the doorknob grasper, navigating across 5 doorknobs that rotate a full 360 degrees. Next are the old standbys, the floating boards and the ultimate cliffhanger. But this year’s cliffhanger is even more challenging, because at the end, competitors will have to leap across a six-foot gap to catch another ledge before finishing. Next is a new version of the pole grasper, but these poles are only connected at the top. After the hang climb, competitors will face the new Area 51, where they will have to traverse these rotating discs using their hands and feet. Finally, competitors will have to complete the flying bar, which is like a horizontal salmon ladder, to finish the stage.**

That’s a tough course. Out of the 8 competitors who faced it this year, 2 finished it. And before that, we never had a finisher. I’m not sure we’ll have any finishers tonight.

_If we do have one, my money’s on Takaba Akihito. But I think Liu Feilong might have a shot, too. And who knows, both Sakazaki and Asami did decently on stage 2, too. I’ll be shocked if those aren’t our 4 competitors for this Stage 3._

I think you might be right, Akbar. Because the Blue Collar Team is leading 3-0, the White Collar Team can only hope to tie, but they need to win Stage 3 to avoid a complete shutout. While Suoh had an impressive performance in Stage 1, he doesn’t really have the right build for Stage 3. I think Asami and Sakazaki are the White Collar Team’s best hope.

_And they’ll be going first. It looks like Sakazaki is going to be the first person to attempt Stage 3. He’s going through the psycho chainsaw at a decent pace, and now he’s reaching out for the first doorknob._

He’s turning each doorknob before grabbing it. That should help him avoid falling off.

_But he’s taking a lot of time here, Matt. Remember, the athlete who gets the furthest on this stage will win it for his team, but if there’s a tie, it’s who gets to the last obstacle the fastest. And I have a feeling a lot of these competitors will go out on the same obstacle._

He’s made it through the doorknob grasper! Now it’s on to the floating boards. Sakazaki is the only competitor who’s practiced on obstacles before. If he’s tried the boards, that might give him an advantage. When they were new, several athletes fell on them, but by the next season, everyone was able to get past them.

_Well, he certainly looks like he’s faced them before. Sakazaki is looking like a pro, really using his feet to lock in, but he’s looking a bit shaky on this last transition. This obstacle requires a lot of grip strength when you’re moving to the next board._

But he’s made it, and now he just needs to dismount. He’s using two boards to generate the momentum… And wow, that was close! One foot almost landed in the water, but he managed to pull it back before it touched. And now it’s on to the ultimate cliffhanger.

_Sakazaki looks exhausted after the floating boards. And the ultimate cliffhanger is even more difficult than ever, with more gaps and that leap at the end. Sakazaki is really struggling to make it up the incline. And he’s at the big gap… And he’s fallen! Sakazaki is out on the ultimate cliffhanger!_

The ultimate cliffhanger took out half the field in this year’s finals. Reaching it might be enough to secure victory for one’s team tonight, but it might depend on speed.

_Well, Sakazaki’s set the bar reasonably high. There’s definitely room to beat it, but it will require a near-flawless run up to the ultimate cliffhanger._

**Sakazaki, you made it to the ultimate cliffhanger. Do you think that will be far enough to ensure your team victory?**

“I hope so. That obstacle is really hard, and I don’t think anyone here can beat it. I just hope I made it there fast enough.”

**You looked at home on the floating boards. Did you practice them before?**

“Yes, I did. It took me a little bit of time to figure out the rhythm, but once I realized it was like ****** * ***** ***, I realized any good seme could handle them easily.”

**Um, I’m sorry, my Japanese isn’t up to what you just said. Wait a moment… I’m sorry, apparently we can’t broadcast that. Anyway, congrats on a good run, Sakazaki.**

He really has a mouth on him, doesn’t he? Well, next up is Liu from the Blue Collar Team. So far, you’ve exactly called who our competitors would be, Akbar.

_Well, Liu did go the furthest on Stage 2, showing considerable upper body strength. He’s made it through the psycho chainsaw. That may not look tough, but it really works the arms, which just makes the rest of these stage 3 obstacles that much harder._

And now it’s on to the doorknob grasper. And woah, where did that wind come from? Liu’s hair has blown across his face. And one of his hands slipped!

_I think his hair actually got caught under that hand, and he had to let go to swing. The wind has settled down, but now Liu has lost his momentum, and he can’t reach the next doorknob. He’ll have to swing._

He’s reached up and grabbed the doorknob with both hands, and – Yes! he managed to grab the last doorknob, and it’s an easy swing to the platform. But that mistake ate up a lot of time and energy.

_Takaba is telling Liu to tie his hair back, but Liu is ignoring him. Liu has moved on to the floating boards, and he’s handling them with ease. He’s really trying to make up for that lost time, but it’s going to be close._

And here’s that wind again! It’s so strange. It’s blown Liu’s hair across his face. He must not be able to see a thing, but he’s continuing by feel. And he’s being careful not to catch his hair this time.

_And he’s finished the floating boards. That was so close to Sakazaki’s time, I’m not sure who is in first place right now. But if Liu can finish the ultimate cliffhanger, he’ll definitely be in the lead. He’s made it across the new, small gaps… but this is where Sakazaki fell…_

He’s made it! Liu has made the transition across the big gap. But now he has to move down to the next section, and it can be hard to stop that downward momentum. But he’s made that, too! Now all he has left is the jump across the six foot gap.

_He’s got a good swing, and he’s made the leap! But Liu just can’t hold on. He’s fallen on the ultimate cliffhanger. And it looks like Liu has to be helped out of the water again. I guess that hair is blocking his vision in the water again._

Our judges are still not sure who is currently in first place. They’re comparing Sakazaki’s and Liu’s videos frame by frame – they were that close in finishing the floating boards. While we’re figuring out this cliffhanger, let’s hear from Liu.

**Liu, your hair almost caused you to fall on the doorknob grasper. Do you wish you’d pulled it back before starting this stage?**

“It’s never really gotten in my way before tonight, and I only pull it back when I’m wearing western style clothing. Anyway, I managed. I had to give the other team a handicap, to give them a fighting chance…” Feilong finger-combs the tangles out of his hair while he speaks.

**It really is beautiful. May I touch it?**

Feilong gives Kristine a death-glare that simultaneously gives her the impression that she’s just asked the stupidest question in the world.

**Er, I was just joking. You got through the floating boards very quickly. Have you ever done that kind of thing before?**

“Not exactly, but I have done something similar, for my old job. And Sakazaki’s advice was very helpful.”

Sakazaki gapes at him. “But you’re not a- I mean, surely, you can’t be…”

“He’s not. I would know,” Asami snarks.

“How would _you_ know? Just ask Akihito; he knows,” Feilong taunts.

Sakazaki pulls Asami away, while Kristine tries to resume her interview.

**What kind of training have you had? You’ve never seen these obstacles before, and yet you’ve done very well tonight.**

“I’ve been training ever since I was a child in martial arts.”

**Karate? Judo? Tae kwan do?**

“You mean those sports? I meant actual _martial_ arts, not children’s games. My father wanted to make sure I could outperform any of my enemies,” Feilong says contemptuously, before flouncing off to dry his hair using the giant fan that Sudou and Suoh are nonchalantly standing next to.

After careful review, the judges have declared that Sakazaki and Liu finished the floating boards at the exact same time. In the event of a tie, competitors will split the points, which means that the last competitor from the White Collar team must reach the ultimate cliffhanger faster – or complete it – in order to force a tiebreaker.

_It looks like that will be Asami. At 172 pounds, he’s the heaviest athlete to try Stage 3 tonight, but for his height, that’s really not that heavy._

And his height will help his reach, which might help him in the doorknob grasper and the ultimate cliffhanger.

_Here he goes. He’s made it through the psycho chainsaw quickly, and it’s on to the doorknob grasper. He does seem to be having a slightly easier time with it, and he’s not wasting any time progressing to the floating boards. Asami knows he’s racing the clock right now._

He’s ahead of Sakazaki’s and Liu’s pace up to this point. But let’s see how he handles these boards.

_Sakazaki’s advice seems to be helping Asami, too. He’s really flying through these floating boards… and he’s stuck the landing! And with that, Asami has beaten both Sakazaki’s and Liu’s time to reach this point._

But he’s not taking any time to rest. He knows that Takaba is most likely following him, and Asami will have to move quickly to beat Takaba’s performance.

_He’s made it through the smaller gaps, but he seems to be tiring. He’s made it across the big gap. Can he hold on during this downhill leap?_

Wow, he barely made that. I don’t know how he managed to hang on. But now he faces the 6-foot gap that took out Liu.

_And he’s missed, just like Liu. But Asami has worked his way into first place, and now it’s up to the last member of the Blue Collar Team to outperform him and avoid going into the tiebreaker Stage 4._

**Asami, you managed to finish the first three obstacles faster than either Liu or Sakazaki. Were you just focused on beating their time?**

Asami coughs for a bit, then gasps, “Well, of course, but I also didn’t want to waste too much time and energy. Feilong was right; Sakazaki’s advice for the floating boards was very helpful.”

**The Blue Collar Team has one more run. Do you think you went far enough fast enough to beat them?**

“Well, it all depends on who runs the course, doesn’t it? I certainly hope I did enough,” Asami drawls, unconcerned.

It looks like Takaba is approaching the start. But someone is coming out of the stands. Let’s go back to Kristine to find out what’s going on.

**Can you tell us who you are?**

“My name is Kirishima Kei, and I’m the coach for the White Collar Team. I believe that the Blue Collar Team is in violation of the rules by trying to have Takaba compete again.”

**The rules don’t limit how many times an individual can compete, as long as every team member goes at least once.**

“But that’s just it. Where is the Blue Collar Team’s fourth member? If they had one, they would not be able to run Takaba three times and Liu twice and still have every member compete. Therefore, Takaba should not be allowed to compete on Stage 3.”

**Our judges are coming down to discuss this with the representatives of both teams.**

“But I didn’t get to do Stage 2! Asami cheated and messed up my run, so just have the ghost’s run count for that one!” Akihito protests.

“But you _did_ attempt to do Stage 2. Therefore, you should be barred from Stage 3.”

Wow, Akbar, we’ve got even more controversy in this competition. I can see both sides’ opinions on this one.

_Me too, Matt. Having only 3 members is a disadvantage, and having Takaba run Stage 3 tired would normally put him at a disadvantage over fresher competitors, but he’s just such an incredible athlete, I can see where the White Collar Team would think it’s unfair._

Well, the crowd doesn’t like this. They want to see Takaba run. They’re chanting his name.

_I have to agree with them. I was really looking forward to seeing what Takaba can do on Stage 3. And it looks like he really wants to go, too._

For him, I don’t think it’s about the competition at all. He just wants to test himself against the course. But it looks like the judges have made their decision, and they’re waving Mitarai to the start.

_The crowd is not happy. In another first, we’re hearing our first boos ever on this course. And Takaba is not taking this decision sitting down. He’s refusing to move._

“Just let me go! You don’t even have to count it for the team; I just really want to try this course!” Akihito screams, refusing to step down from the start.

“Let him run! Let him run!” the crowd chants.

Asami picks Akihito up and throws him into the water. “There. Go ahead, Blue Collar Team. Run your last contestant.”

Akihito emerges from the water spluttering. “Asaaaammmmmiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!”

Well, it looks like Mitarai is having to go for the Blue Collar Team. At least he’ll get a chance to redeem himself after his poor performance on Stage 1.

_Or not, Matt. Once again, that was one of the shortest runs we’ve ever seen on Sasuke. Mitarai just didn’t seem to have the strength to generate any momentum on the psycho chainsaw, and his grip gave out after just 4 seconds._

And with that, the White Collar Team has won Stage 3. We are tied at 3-3, which means we’re going into the Stage 4 tiebreaker. Each team will have one contestant attempt to climb the 23 meter rope as quickly as possible. Whoever reaches the top in the shortest amount of time wins!

_The Blue Collar Team will be allowed to use whichever member they wish for this tiebreaker, and I have a feeling it will be Takaba. I think he’s the clear favorite, no matter who the White Collar Team puts forth._

But he’s still mad about Stage 3, Akbar. It looks like he’s still trying to get on the Stage 3 course to run it. Can his teammates calm him down and get him to focus on Stage 4? Watch us next time to find out whether the White Collar or Blue Collar Team will emerge victorious!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've just about finished writing this (just need to revise the last two a bit), so I'll post a chapter a day.


	4. Stage 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the final showdown between the White Collar Team and the Blue Collar Team. Will Akihito and Feilong prevail, or will Asami find a way to cheat his way to the top of Midoriyama?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: "Mecha" is a character from my story "Takaba Akihito's Secret Part-time Job"; he works for Sion's security division and looks similar to Suoh (except they have different noses).
> 
> I wanted to make this read as similar as I could to listening to an American Ninja Warrior episode, so I used font effects to represent the three announcers. I wanted to use colors, but I don't know how to easily add them, so I'll stick to font shapes. Please let me know if there are any issues with readability.
> 
> Matt Iseman: underline  
> Akbar Gbajabiamila: italics  
> Kristine Leahy: bold

Welcome back to our special Sasuke competition, White Collar vs. Blue Collar. I’m Matt Iseman.

_And I’m Akbar Gbajabiamila._

Earlier tonight, history was made when the Blue Collar Team’s Takaba Akihito set a course record on Stage 1. The Blue Collar Team’s Liu was the only competitor to reach roulette row in Stage 2, winning the points for the Blue Collar Team, despite some controversy regarding Takaba’s run. Takaba re-ran the stage and completed it in an unofficial record-setting time during the break before Stage 3. Stage 3 saw additional controversy due to the Blue Collar Team only having 3 members, and Takaba was not allowed to compete on that stage, to the disappointment of the crowd.

_And to me and the viewers at home, Matt. I think everyone was looking forward to Takaba’s run. But without Takaba in the mix, the White Collar Team was able to avoid a shutout and take Stage 3, sending us into a tiebreaker._

The teams have announced who will represent them for this final stage, a rope climb of 23m. Takaba, who has finally calmed down about stage 3, will be representing the Blue Collar Team, and in a surprising move, the White Collar Team has selected Suoh to represent them.

_That is surprising, Matt. Suoh is one of the more massive guys, and they’re not usually known for their speed. But Asami is a heavy smoker, and Sudou doesn’t appear to have much upper body strength. Still, it seems like Sakazaki might be a better choice._

Well, Sakazaki hasn’t demonstrated much speed, either, and Suoh did show quick footwork in Stage 1. And Suoh is fresher, not having competed since Stage 1. I think either Suoh or Sakazaki would have a tough time against Takaba, especially since he’s had more time to recover after not being allowed to attempt Stage 3.

_Not that he hasn’t kept trying, Matt. He’s kept our guards rather busy, trying to sneak onto the Stage 3 course during the break. It took his teammate Liu some time to get him to focus on Stage 4 and forget about Stage 3._

Kristine is standing by with the two Stage 4 competitors.

**Hey, guys. Because of the egg timer incident during Stage 2, the Blue Collar Team has been given the choice to go first or second on Midoriyama.**

“I’ll go second,” Akihito says confidently.

**Takaba, you seemed rather upset not to get to run Stage 3. But now you’re fresher for Stage 4. What do you think your chances are?**

“I know I could have beaten Asami’s time, and I feel confident that I could have beaten that whole Stage 3 course, too. We shouldn’t even be in a tiebreaker; it’s such a crock. But it doesn’t matter, because I’ll get to the top first. That’s what I have to focus on for now. And maybe someday I’ll get a chance to do Stage 3.” Akihito’s eyes drift as he looks longingly at Stage 3.

**That’s some confidence. Let’s see how the White Collar Team responds. Where is Suoh?**

A blond man with a big bandage on his nose approaches. “Hewe I amb,” he says.

“I know you… You’re Mecha, right?” Akihito asks.

The man’s eyes widen in surprise, but he shrugs noncommittally.

**Is that a nickname, Suoh? More importantly, what happened to your nose?**

“I dripped and banged id on a pole.”

**Are you going to be alright for the rope climb? It’s not too late to change competitors.**

“I’mb okay. I’mb de only one wid experience. I drained wid de Special Forces.”

**Oh. Your military experience wasn’t listed in your bio. How long were you in the SDF?**

“I- I- I wasn’d. I dusd drained wid dem.” Mecha shifts his gaze away. “Can I dusd go arready?”

Akihito just looks back and forth between Mecha and Asami, shaking his head. “Unbelievable.”

**Is something wrong, Takaba?**

“Oh, not at all. I just realized how desperate the White Collar Team is. Good luck, Mecha. I mean, ‘Suoh.’”

And he’s off! Suoh leaps from the ground and starts climbing. He’s using his feet to help him with the climb.

_A lot of athletes end up using their feet at some point because it’s such a long climb, but most try to use just their hands at the beginning, because it tends to be slightly faster. Using the feet the whole way is an interesting approach._

Well, most athletes also slow considerably towards the top. Suoh is maintaining an even pace, without losing much speed.

_But he didn’t have a lot of speed to begin with, Matt. He’s nearing the top, but he’s already at over 30 seconds._

And he’s reached the top. He finished in just over 36 seconds, which would have placed him just outside the necessary time had this been a timed stage. Still, what a remarkable effort from Suoh.

_That military training really paid off. He looked right at home on the rope._

Let’s see what he has to say.

**Suoh, you looked really comfortable on that rope.**

Mecha shrugs. “I drain on ropes a lod.”

**Do you think you climbed it fast enough to beat Takaba?**

“I don’d know. I did by besd. Dad’s all I could do.”

And here goes Takaba. He’s starting off with incredible speed, using just his hands.

_I don’t know if he can keep up that pace, Matt. But I’m not sure he needs to. He’s reached the halfway point five seconds ahead of Suoh._

He’s slowing down a little, but this is incredible. He’s only got a few more meters to go, and he’s still using just his arms.

_Well, now he’s using his feet, but he’s only got six feet left. And he’s hit the buzzer! And once again, Takaba Akihito has set a course record, finishing the 23m rope climb in under 29 seconds! That’s incredible! He beat Isaac Caldiero’s time by over 2 seconds._

This crowd is on their feet. His team is already swarming around him, not even waiting for him to reach the ground. Akbar, this is one of the greatest feats we’ve witnessed in Sasuke history.

_It really is, Matt. Takaba has proven himself a true competitor. I think he has a real shot at achieving total victory in regular competition. I really hope he competes next season._

Let’s see what Takaba has to say, if we can hear him over this crowd!

**Takaba that was amazing. Once again, you shattered a Sasuke record. And yet you hardly seem out of breath. Was that difficult for you at all?**

“Of course it was. I was a little out of breath by the time I reached the top, and my arms were burning. But I recover pretty quickly.”

**Takaba, what do you do to keep in such great shape? You said you’ve never seen any of these obstacles before, but you handled them with ease.**

“Well, I have climbed ropes before, though not usually ones this high. I did parkour in high school, and I use those skills in my job, chasing stories. I always get the scoop, but most criminals don’t like having their picture taken – right, Asami? – so I have to scale buildings and stuff to get the shot. And then sometimes I have to run away…”

**Wow, your job sounds dangerous. Why were you addressing Asami just now?**

“Oh, that’s how we met, when I was pursuing a scoop at one of his clubs. That was the first time I jumped off a roof.”

**Wow. Asami, what do you have to say about Takaba’s performance tonight?**

“He definitely has skills. But he’s a real adrenaline junkie, so I wouldn’t take anything he says too seriously. I bet he’s still scheming to find a way onto Stage 3 as we speak.”

Akihito is staring at Stage 3 again, confirming Asami’s assertion. “Can I?” he asks wistfully.

**I’m sorry, but the course is now closed. You’ll have to wait until next season, but if you apply, I think you’re almost guaranteed a chance after that amazing performance tonight.**

Akihito tries to make a break for Stage 3, but Asami seems to have anticipated his move and holds him back. He picks Akihito up and tosses him over his shoulder, giving Akihito’s bottom a smack as he walks off the course.

He doesn’t even seem tired after conquering Stage 4 in a record-setting time, Akbar. The Blue Collar Team has officially won this special Sasuke competition. Until next season, I’m Matt Iseman.

_And I’m Akbar Gbajabiamila. I’m really looking forward to watching Takaba compete next season. See you next time on Sasuke!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter will cover the details and results of the bet.


	5. The Bet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens when Asami and Akihito return home after the special Sasuke competition? Who won the bet, and what exactly did they end up betting? And what is Asami scheming now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: "Mecha" is a character from my story "Takaba Akihito's Secret Part-time Job"; he works for Sion's security division and looks similar to Suoh (except they have different noses). Yoneda is from the same story, and is one of Akihito's personal bodyguards.
> 
> I have a migraine and can't do productive things, so I figured I'd post the last bit now, and maybe some comments will cheer me up.

_“And that was the Sasuke competition that never aired. No one knows I have a copy of it, so you must not tell anyone about it. Not even your best friend.”_

_“I promise, Daddy. Why didn’t it air?”_

_“Someone paid a lot of money to keep it from airing, and to buy all copies of it. I think it was that man Asami, but I don’t know for sure.”_

_“Why, Daddy?”_

_“I think maybe it was because he didn’t want people to see him cheating. But I got the feeling that it was never supposed to air, even as we were filming it.”_

* * *

“Put me down! Put me down! Put me down!” Akihito yells, his fists furiously pounding on Asami’s back. “I can’t believe you’d humiliate me like this in front of that huge crowd.”

“You’re only humiliating yourself. You couldn’t even follow the rules of the competition. You knew going in you weren’t supposed to do every stage.”

“That’s not true; I could have if we’d had 4 people on our team and hadn’t run Feilong twice! Now put me down!”

Asami listens, throwing Akihito down on the seat of the limo. He closes the door behind them, and Suoh and Kirishima climb into the front.

“Wow, is your nose better already, Suoh? That was fast,” Akihito says sarcastically.

Suoh just rolls up the partition separating the passenger compartment.

“Hmph! Why are you guys always so serious? Tonight was awesome! Didn’t you have any fun?” Akihito asks Asami.

“I did, but I’ll be having even more fun collecting my winnings from our bet.”

“ _Your_ winnings? What do you mean? I clearly won the bet!” Akihito protests.

“No, you didn’t. You bet that you’d sweep us, and you did not. We went to a tiebreaker. Therefore, I won the bet.”

“No, it was just which team won!”

“It was until you changed it after Stage 2,” Asami corrects him.

“No, I didn’t! I was just trash-talking, that had nothing to do with the bet.”

“That’s not how I took it. Therefore, you lose.”

Asami’s calm smugness was really irritating Akihito now. “No way! You are such a cheater! That’s the only reason you even took a single stage in the first place! If you’d let me compete, I would have beaten you on Stage 3!”

“We’ll never know, will we?” Asami says smugly.

“Yes, we do too know. Turn around and let me try Stage 3, and I’ll prove it right now. Besides, you’re the whole reason we only had 3 people, aren’t you? I thought it was Feilong’s fault, but I’m sure you had something to do with Kou and Takato disappearing and Feilong showing up.”

“A thousand years would be too soon for me to see Feilong’s face again. I most certainly did not encourage him to show up tonight,” Asami grits out, a vein throbbing in his temple.

“Well, I didn’t either. And don’t change the subject, cheater! I notice you didn’t deny getting rid of Kou and Takato.”

“Do you honestly think your friends could have outperformed me?”

“Yes! They learned parkour with me! And Kou definitely still practices regularly. We still go to jams together.”

“Regardless, I think we’ve talked enough. I won. Case closed.” And Asami occupies Akihito’s mouth, effectively ending the argument.

By the time they get back to their building, Akihito is cooperating with Asami’s change of plans. But as they head towards the elevator in the underground parking garage, Akihito breaks away and jumps onto his Vespa, sliding the key into the ignition while he’s still mounting it. He’s roaring away before even Suoh has time to react. “I’m sorry, Asami-sama. I really was not expecting that.”

“Me neither,” Asami confesses.

“Shall I call in the special Takaba Tracking Unit?”

“No need. I know where he’s going. Let’s go back to the course.”

They climb back into the limo.

By the time they arrive at the course, stages 1 and 2 are already dismantled, and Midoriyama is half-taken down. But there is Akihito, already on the Ultimate Cliffhanger.

“Figures,” Kirishima mutters.

“I knew he’d be back to try it. Is this alright?” One of the crew members asks Asami. “I tried to stall him until you got here…”

“Thanks,” Asami says. He watches Akihito continue stage 3.

“I knew you’d be back,” Feilong says casually. “He really has you wrapped around his little finger.”

Asami snorts. “Not my choice. He’ll be punished later.” He grins wickedly.

“Oh, now that’s just cruel, deliberately letting him misbehave just so you can punish him.” Feilong tsks.

“Oh, don’t act like you wouldn’t do the same thing.” Asami smirks, not taking his eyes off Akihito. “Though what you really want to do is misbehave yourself, but poor Feilong doesn’t have anyone to punish you. I’d offer, but really, I’ve already got my hands full.”

Feilong pouts. “As if I’d want to. If he’s too much for you, I’ll take him off your hands.”

Asami growls ferally. “You’re already pushing it with tonight’s stunt, Feilong. Don’t push me any further.” His hand twitches toward his shoulder holster.

Feilong raises his eyebrows. “Wow, you’re seriously losing it. Are you referring to…” he pauses just a moment to think, “the bathroom?”

Asami’s growl confirms it, and Feilong snickers. “He told you the truth. As much as I wanted to help, he wouldn’t let me. I did try to peek through the crack in the stall wall, but it was too narrow and I couldn’t see a thing. More’s the pity.”

By this time, Akihito has finished the flying bars. He runs over to them. “Are you two arguing again?” He sighs.

“Time to go,” Asami picks him up and throws him over his shoulder again.

“It’s a lot harder to get out of this position than you think!” Akihito calls over to Feilong as he struggles fruitlessly.

“Kick him in the groin,” Feilong suggests.

But Asami lets Akihito slide farther down his back, so there’s no way his feet can reach. Akihito snakes a hand between Asami’s thighs, but Asami clamps his legs together. “Don’t even think about it,” he warns.

Akihito tries to pull his hand back, and Asami slowly releases the pressure on it. Akihito wraps both arms tightly around Asami’s right thigh; he’s starting to get dizzy from hanging upside down for so long. Feilong stares after the two wistfully as they disappear into the limo.

“Wait, my scooter! Who’s taking it back?”

“Suoh can take care of it,” Asami tells him.

“No way! Last time he got on it, he bottomed out the suspension, and I don’t want to have to retune it. I’ll just ride it back and meet you there.”

“Like I’m going to fall for that again,” Asami says, blocking Akihito from leaving the limo.

“Then find someone else.”

Asami sighs and gestures to Yoneda.

Akihito eyes him warily. “Don’t wreck it,” he warns.

Back at the penthouse, Asami proceeds to the secret room.

“What are you doing? I won the bet. Time to pay up,” Akihito says.

“No, I won. And I get to collect my reward.”

The next afternoon, Akihito comes out into the living room. “This Sasuke thing is _huge_ ,” he says, flopping onto the couch and facing Asami.

“And?” Asami asks, looking over the top of his newspaper.

“And there’s no way that was a real competition! You rigged the whole thing, didn’t you?”

“What makes you think that?” Asami goes back to reading.

“There’s no way the teams would have been selected like that. They’d have picked people from all over the country, and they’d have selected people with more obvious skills. There’s absolutely no way Mitarai or Sudou would have made the cut! And probably not most of the rest of you, to be honest. Not for a special finals course competition.”

“But you, they would have allowed.”

“Not to be too conceited, but yes, maybe, if I had submitted a video application. Which none of us had to do. And there’s no way it’s going to be televised – you would have never agreed to be on it, when you don’t even like your photo appearing in a charity benefit newspaper story!”

“Very astute observations there, Akihito. A bit late, as always.”

Akihito grabs the paper and pushes it down roughly, tearing it. Asami looks up expectantly. “Just tell me why! That’s just… insane! How much money did you spend to rig that? And again, _why_?”

“Oh, I’m sure the money will be made back in TV ads.”

“No, it won’t. It will never air,” Akihito repeats with conviction.

Asami pulls an envelope out of his pocket. “Didn’t you say you wished there were a playground made for adults? I thought you’d enjoy the world’s biggest one.”

Akihito wrinkles his eyebrows in confusion. When had he said that to Asami? He remembers mentioning that to Kou at their last parkour jam… which that jerk Yoneda had tailed him to. Oh.

Akihito opens the envelope. Inside is an annual membership to the nearest Sasuke obstacle gym. “Why didn’t you just give me this? Why go through all the pretense and bother of the competition?”

“It’s been too long since you’ve been dumb enough to make a bet with me. I knew this would be the perfect bait.” Asami shrugs, then picks up his newspaper pieces and tries to hold them back together.

“I still won that bet,” Akihito says hotly. “Just admit it, you cheated and tried to twist the bet because you knew there was no way you could beat me fair and square on that obstacle course.”

“I never make a losing bet,” Asami says. “Of course I make sure the odds are stacked in my favor, however I have to do that. If you’d do that, too, it _would_ be fair and square.”

“That’s so… Machiavellian.”

“Actually, it’s not.”

Akihito rolls his eyes. “Whatever. Why is it so hard for you to say that I’m better than you at something?

Asami lowers his papers again. “Fine. You’re better than me at those silly obstacles. Satisfied? I don’t get why it matters so much.”

Akihito grabs his face and kisses him on the lips. “Finally! Thank you! That was all I wanted for my prize of having you obey me for a day. Well, that and maybe having you play naked apron for me for a change… And sushi, of course.”

“That’s all you wanted? Why?”

“Because you always have to be in control! And you always have to pretend like you’re better than everyone else in everything. No one is, Asami. You don’t have to pretend with me. You have such an inferiority complex.”

“Me? An inferiority complex? That’s the first time anyone has ever accused me of that. The opposite, sure… Even you often say my ego is too big for the whole island of Honshu.”

Akihito kisses him on the forehead. “It takes a strong man to admit his weakness. Thank you.”

He goes back to his workroom, a happy smile on his face.

“I still won the bet! Akihito! Clear your schedule for Saturday, I expect my payment then!”

Akihito pops his head out. “You already collected the night of the competition, remember? Not that you actually won…”

“No, that was punishment for what you did in the bathroom alone with Feilong.”

“What? I didn’t do anything! Arrrrggghhhh! You’re impossible!”

“Oh, and Akihito! You better not tell anyone about this! You hear me?”

Akihito slams his door.

 _Well, this might have actually backfired on me_ , Asami muses. _Still, it was worth it to see his ganbatte spirit again._ _Naked apron, huh? Nope. The kid is delusional._


End file.
